Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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