you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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