My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
