We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
