Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize