Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize