He is an equal opportunity slut.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
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Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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