Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you didnt know i had herpes?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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