hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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