That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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