Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
i out mim tonsoeep
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