Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
don't judge my taste in strippers
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
