Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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