I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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