David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
