I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
