Ketchup is God's man juice
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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