I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
