This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
