i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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