It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
