Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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