I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
