my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
When did we convert life to cartoon?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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