That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
