Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
