Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
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