Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
