The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
