I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
