dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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