walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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