I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
