I wish I could punch you in the face.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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