Well apparently he's into motor boating.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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