Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
