I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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