would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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