Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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