I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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