A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
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