OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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