apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
