I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
