id be glad to
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
