All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Vodka?
Forever.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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