Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you win again, gameday.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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