Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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