Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
