Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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