so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I wish you could order shots online.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
