shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
