hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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