she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
