Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
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