covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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