dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
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That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
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