hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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